An Ordinary Day
There was nothing out of the ordinary on that hot summer’s day when Tony Alarcon dropped his daughter, Demetra off at school. It was 90 degrees out so she chose to wear an outfit fit for the hot weather.
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No School Uniform Policy
Raymond J. Fisher is a middle-school that has no specific school uniform requirement. The students are allowed to wear everyday clothes to school. However, they do have some rules regarding what they’re allowed to wear and what they’re not.
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Protective Dad
Tony Alarcon is a successful real estate agent and investment banker and is used to fighting for what is right. He doesn’t take injustice lying down but confronts it head-on, especially when it comes to protecting his daughter Demetra.
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Was He Overreacting?
Demetra felt so embarrassed that day when she was singled out in class. She wasn’t the first girl to ever be reprimanded in front of the class but it was mortifying nonetheless. She couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about.
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The Supposed Inappropriate Outfit
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The Beginning Of A Huge Clash
All Demetra had done was choose an outfit that would be comfortable and keep her cool on a sweltering hot day in California. She never expected that her choice would result in a clash between her father and the school.
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Why All The Fuss?
Demetra’s choice of outfit became the topic of conversation overnight. And soon enough the media got involved and there was a public outcry. How was her outfit any different from what other girls her age wore to school?
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An Unforeseen Outcome
Demetra didn’t expect that there would be yet another outcome over her outfit. It was even worse than what she’d expected though. Who could blame her for wearing a comfortable romper on such a hot day in Los Gatos?
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Unnecessary Humiliation
On that hot day, Demetra was in her first period of the day when the teacher decided to call her out in front of the whole class. He was the one to point out that her romper was not appropriate attire for school.
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The Principal Gets Involved
The teacher decided that she needed to go to the principal’s office. Upon taking one glance at Demetra, the principal called her dad and explained that there had been a situation involving his daughter. That was a call he would later regret.
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A Choice Had To Be Made
The principal explained to Tony that Demetra’s outfit was inappropriate and he had a choice to make. He could either bring her a change of clothes or fetch her from school immediately. He was shocked to be receiving this call.
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Going Along At First
Tony decided to go along with this and opted to bring Demetra a change of clothes. He went through her drawers and found what he thought was appropriate. It was a pair of denim shorts and a plain tank top.
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The Battle Is Not Over
Once she’d changed into the new outfit, Demetra went back to the office where her dad and the administrator were waiting for her. Then the administrator said that the new outfit was still inappropriate. At this stage, Tony was quite agitated.
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What Exactly Was The Problem?
Tony was fuming and asked the school’s administrator to explain what the problem was with the new outfit. He even made Demetra bend down to show them how her shorts covered her adequately. He had to get to the bottom of this.
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Protecting His Daughter At All Costs
He knew that there was more to it than what they were telling him. He wouldn’t stop until they told him the truth and explained why they singled Demetra out. Tony had his suspicions but thought that it couldn’t possibly be.
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An Answer He Wasn’t Satisfied With
The explanation was that the dress code violation was more about length than modesty. The administrator further explained that the romper and the denim shorts that Demetra wore didn’t pass their “fingertip test.” But Tony sensed that it wasn’t the real reason.
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Angrier By The Minute
Tony was becoming angrier by the minute after hearing the “fingertip test” story. He’d seen other students in Demetra’s class wearing similar outfits to her when he dropped her off at school that morning. Why was she the only one singled out?
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Fingertip Test Demonstration
For the fingertip test, the pupil must place her arms on her sides and if her pants are above her fingertips then it’s too short. Demetra did it and hers was just barely above. Tony was not going to accept this.
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The Truth Finally Comes Out
The administrator eventually said that the real reason Demetra was singled out was because of the boys in her class. In an attempt to process what the administrator had just said, Tony asked her to repeat herself. He couldn’t believe his ears.
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Regret Set In
The administrator immediately regretted saying what she’d said. Tony finally knew the truth and he wasn’t going to take it lightly. The problem wasn’t that Demetra was dressed immodestly, but that she was seen as a distraction to the boys in her class.
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He Couldn’t Believe His Ears
As he sat across the table from the school principal, Tony couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The teacher and the principal had singled Demetra out and now he understood why. He had had enough and was ready to fight this.
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Using His Resources
Seeing his daughter so upset with tears in her eyes made Tony realize that he couldn’t let this go. What the administrator was saying about his little girl was completely unacceptable. Tony needed to use his resources to rectify the situation.
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One Last Choice
The administrator gave them one last choice: either Demetra covered up her legs with leggings or she wouldn’t be allowed to go back to class. This was completely unfair and Tony was about to show them exactly what he thought about this.
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Unfair Discrimination
Demetra pointed out that the school dress code wasn’t enforced on the boys and this was discriminatory towards girls. There is a no-hats-in-class rule but the boys wear hats in a class all the time and nothing is done about it.
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Many Other Offenders
Tony was trying to stay calm but it was becoming very difficult. He commented that he’d seen many other students in the parking lot who were not following the rules either. So why were the girls the only ones picked on?
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Unaccommodating Rules
How could the school expect girls to wear leggings on such a hot day? Their rules should be more accommodating. Shorter and lighter clothing would help the pupils to be comfortable in the heat. But because of boys, Demetra had to suffer.
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Many Pupils Agreed
Tony decided to ask Demetra’s friends what they thought about the dress code rules. They all felt that it was unfair and that the system was flawed. The girls had to be uncomfortable in summer because the boys couldn’t control themselves.
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Time To Involve The Media
Involving the media was Tony’s next course of action. He was angry and he wanted the world to know how unfair the school’s dress code was and how they humiliated his daughter. Tony appeared on Today and other local news channels.
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Parents’ Discretion
The media asked Tony what he proposes would be a solution to the current dress code situation. He stated that it should be solely up to the parents to decide whether what their child wears is appropriate or not.
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A Proposal
Tony proposed some changes be made to the school’s dress code. One being that underwear shouldn’t be visible, no midriffs, and no shirts with spaghetti straps should be allowed. But he was just scratching the surface of a bigger issue.
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Uncovering A Bigger Issue
Most people supported Tony in this endeavor but the issue of objectification of girls and body image was being uncovered. Some people believed that if teens were allowed to wear what they wanted it would create chaos in the school system.
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Addressing The Accusations
The school responded to Tony’s accusations stating that the dress code was meant to establish guidelines. The school aimed to have “reasonable decorum” among their students. It seems this was not the only case involving unfair school dress code rules.
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There Were More Cases
Demetra’s incident with the school dress code was not isolated. Clare had a similar situation where the school unfairly dismissed her because of what she was wearing and what is portrayed. Clare was a 17-year-old girl ready for her prom.
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Finding The Perfect Dress
Clare and her boyfriend were looking forward to their prom night and had even bought the tickets ahead of time. She had found the perfect dress, it was silver and glittery. The young couple thought nothing could ruin their night.
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The Dreaded Fingertip Test
She’d fallen in love with the dress when she saw it and it was within her budget, so it was perfect. But, would it pass the dreaded fingertip test? She relaxed her arms at her sides and prayed that it would pass.
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Dress Code For The Prom
The invitation to the prom stated the dress code to be semi-formal with dresses at fingertip length. Hers had just made it and she was confident that the dress was perfect. Little did she know how much trouble this dress would cause.
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It Was Time
The time had come and it was prom night. Clare was extremely excited about it but decided to do the fingertip test one last time to be sure. This time it came up short. She was all ready, what would she do?
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Being Cautious
Before leaving for the prom she put on some heels to test out the outfit to make sure she was complying with the event rules. The hem was dangerously close to her fingertips. When she danced it might hike up her legs.
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Confronted At The Door
As she arrived at the local Methodist church where the prom was being held, she was confronted at the door. Despite double-checking, one of the organizers called her out on her dress being too short. Clare simply asked what the rule was.
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Appearances Can Be Deceiving
Ann Duncan responded that she had to comply with the fingertip length rule. Clare explained that her dress met the criteria but the fact that she is tall with long legs makes it seem like her dress is shorter than what it is.
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Wouldn’t Budge
Ann insisted that the dress was too short and she didn’t comply with the dress code, but Clare wasn’t going to back down. She showed Ann how her dress passed the fingertip test. Ann had no choice but to let her in.
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Inconsistent Demands
As she walked into the prom, Clare noticed that there were other girls whose dresses were shorter than hers. She just had to laugh at the inconsistency. Now it was time to enjoy the dance, but she soon noticed something going on above her head.
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Inappropriate Stares
Clare and her friends noticed that there was an unusual number of chaperones compared to previous years. Among these, were some dads gawking down at the girls from the balcony. The girls felt very uneasy at the sight of these dads staring.
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An Uneasy Feeling
Understandably so, the girls felt very uncomfortable. They felt somewhat intimidated by the number of parents that were there to watch their every move for five hours. They felt like the chaperones were basically there to watch girls in short dresses and heels dancing around.
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Getting Called Out Again
Before long Ann stormed towards Clare to single her out again. She escorted Clare off the dancefloor and told her that some dad chaperones were complaining that she was dancing too provocatively and it would cause the boys to have impure thoughts.
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She Couldn’t Just Accept This
By saying that her outfit caused impure thoughts was like saying ‘she was asking for it.’ This was unacceptable. She shouldn’t be responsible for the thoughts and actions of the male students and their dads at the prom. She had to fight back.
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Enough Is Enough
Clare had told Mrs. Duncan that she wasn’t even dancing yet and her friends could corroborate that. She then showed Ann again how her dress met the requirements. But Mrs. Duncan was not listening to her. That’s when Clare’s boyfriend stepped in.
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A United Front
Clare’s boyfriend was disgusted by the accusations against Clare. He said that if she was getting kicked out then the whole group she had come with should too. And what’s more, they would need to refund all their tickets.
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A Refund Wasn’t Enough
A refund would not be enough to make up for the trauma caused that evening. She was going to fight this. James asked to speak to the prom manager and that’s when Mr. Duncan became enraged and called another chaperone for backup.
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Escorted Out Like Criminals
Clare had been dreaming of this night for years and it was ruined by an unreasonable chaperone. They were escorted out of the prom as if they were criminals. She felt utterly heartbroken. She was kicked out because she stood out.
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Wrongly Judged
She was told that the way she was dressed and the way she moved her body made men think inappropriate thoughts about her. That implied that it was her responsibility to control others’ thoughts. She promised herself that she would get them back and rectify the situation.
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Another Opinion
As she was being escorted out Clare asked the security guard what his thoughts were. She asked him if he thought her dress was compliant and if she’d been dancing inappropriately. He replied that he didn’t think so but unfortunately it wasn’t his call.
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Support Came Flooding In
Despite agreeing to refund everyone, Clare was the only one to get her money back. She felt so cheated and angry that she took to the internet with her story. Women from all over the world heard her story and offered support.
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A Chain Reaction
Since that night, many angry people went to the Richmond Homeschool Prom page on Facebook and shared their disapproval of what happened to Clare. Mrs. Duncan was then interviewed by CBS news and she gave a different side of the story.
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A Case Of He-Said, She-Said
Mrs. Duncan states that even though the dress met the requirements when she’d arrived, it rode up when she was dancing. She maintains that she didn’t say anything about dads watching Clare dance as there were so many people there that night.
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Why Her?
Clare stated that many friends had told her that after she left there was a lot of dirty dancing going on and that couples were even kissing on the dance floor. She thought it was unfair how those incidents were ignored yet she was thrown out for her dress.
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Better Handled
Another student that attended the prom believes that the situation could’ve been handled better by both parties. She recalls seeing Clare grinding on the dance floor, but Clare stands by what she said. She’s written about the event and shared it online.
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Keeping A Keen Eye On Her
When she was kicked out, Mrs. Duncan had said that dads were complaining about the way she was dancing. This meant they must’ve been watching her. This made her feel targeted because her build is more mature than other girls her age.
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An Even Bigger Issue
Clare stands by what she said happened and hopes that her incident can serve to bring change into the schools’ dress code requirements countrywide. But this brings forth an even bigger issue that kids and parents are faced with today.
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What Can Be Done?
If teenage girls are being limited by society as a whole regarding what they can and cannot wear, does that mean they’re being objectified at a younger and younger age? What can parents do to ensure their daughters grow up without being judged?
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Speaking Out
It turns out that many students are really not okay with the way things are being handled. When Emma Stein was a freshman at Evanston Township High School, she was cited for violating her school’s dress code. She was told her dress was too short and was forced to wear sweatpants for the rest of the day. She knew that her schools’ antiquated dress code needed to be changed.
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Recalling The Event
Although Stein did not receive any punishment for breaking the dress code, she still felt negatively impacted by the situation. “It added a level of insecurity to this already stressful time,” she said. For that reason, Emma decided to do something about it.
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The Big Protest
As it turns out, Emma was not the only student at her school that had qualms about the unfair dress code that seemed to only target female students as well as minorities. In 2016, many students held a protest that demanded changes to the dress code.
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The School Listened
In a miraculous turn of events, Evanston Township High School’s administration listened to the students who spoke up, and in 2017, they updated the dress code policy. So what exactly is the new policy?
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Hearing The Students Out
The high school’s principal, Marcus Campbell, shared: “We needed to look at getting a new dress code, and we wanted to make sure it was body-positive and didn’t marginalize students.” Many students felt that it was refreshing to know that their voices had been heard and changes were being put into place.
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The New Policy
The new dress code for Evanston Township High School was introduced in 2017 and many changes were put into place. The new rules state that tank tops, hats, leggings, and several other banned items were now permitted. Also, the policy highlighted that students would not be allowed to be marginalized based on “race, class, gender, sexual orientation, or other identity markers.”
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A Role Model For Others
Since schools’ dress codes are a hotly debated topic and an ongoing issue, many areas have decided to follow suit and adopt a new policy. To make the tricky transition easier, the Oregon chapter of the National Organization for Women created a policy to model for all Portland Public schools, and many other districts have adopted these guidelines as well.
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The Dress Code Model
Oregon NOW’s president, Lisa Frack, shared what the policy model outlined: “Boys can dress like girls, and girls can dress like boys. You can be trans. You can be cis. Part and parcel on our mind are whoever you are, you can wear whatever you want.”
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But Not Everything Goes
Although the new policy is much less oppressive, there are still items that remain banned. These include clothes that feature obscenities and illegal substances and anything that may be gang-related. The new policy is more open, but still within reason.
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The Justification
Frack continued to explain the reasoning behind the model policy: “You have to cover your parts.” However, now students have more freedom to choose how to do so while also being able to express themselves.
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Emma’s High School
Emma Stein’s high school, Evanston Township High, was one of the early adopted of Oregon NOW’s model policy. After the massive protest the students held, the school’s principal Campbell decided to do some research and he found NOW’s policy. After the superintendent signed off on the policy, it was officially put into place.
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The Policy In Effect
Campbell went on the share: “I remember last year, a Latinx-identifying kid wore a sombrero two days in a row. Seeing him signals that it’s a different kind of school where kids can be free to wear what they want to wear, to express themselves, as long as it doesn’t glorify hate speech or violence, those kinds of things.”
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Oregon NOW’s Purpose
Frack explained why Oregon NOW set out to lead the changes in dress codes: “There was no answer. Everybody’s got the problem, but what’s the answer? We’re a super small organization, but we thought we could do something besides saying, ‘Doesn’t this stink?’ We could write a model code, and it could be progressive, feminist, and anti-racist.”
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A Positive Trend
While there are still many schools that have an outdated dress code policy in place, it seems as though there is a trend in a more open-minded direction. More and more school administrators are taking the time to research fair alternatives, and change is slowly trickling into the school systems around the country.
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The End Goal
The whole point of students attending school is to learn, but these sorts of situations can, unfortunately, overshadow the real purpose of students being at school. Hopefully, with these fair changes being implemented, the focus can shift back to our students’ receiving the best possible education.
